I am 32 years old, and Justin is 34 (going on 12). We have been together for 9 years this July 4th, and married for one year on the 13th (holy crap).
Translation: WHY HAVEN’T YOU HAD KIDS YET???
I hear this constantly. It’s just something that we’re going to have to hear probably for the rest of our lives. Our friends and families near us are out having child after child, and we’re just expected to do the same. Well, here’s the thing. You’ve got kids–cool. You want kids–cool. I respect that, and all the more love and power to you to have those kids. I will love them too…and then give them back.
Justin & I don’t want kids. Period. No, we’re not “going to change our minds.” No, I don’t have a biological clock that’s ticking. And no, we don’t care who’s going to take care of us when we’re older. And no, I’m not just saying that because I secretly want kids and I’m too scared to tell him (that’s a terrible thing to do anyway).
Part of the reason, besides the obvious (we like our time together), is Justin’s autism. He doesn’t want any future children seeing his melt downs. He doesn’t want a change in routine (which is constant with kids) to mess him up and have his entire day ruined because of a change. He has full on panic attacks when he gets nauseous. Kids puke a lot. If he’s around people who are throwing up, he’s booking it out of the premises ASAP. And what do kids do for the first part of their lives? Puke. He doesn’t want to risk having a child with autism either. This doesn’t mean that we’re bad people. We’re making the conscious choice to not have children and enjoy the family of two that’s more than enough for us.
To be honest, I get tired of hearing about people getting pregnant and having kids. Why isn’t just having a husband enough? Why do they think they have to have kids? Do they think their lives aren’t complete without them? I never thought I’d get married when I was younger. I didn’t even think I’d have a boyfriend, let alone actually get married. So when I met Justin and we got married, I’m fulfilled. I don’t want another kid taking away our time with each other. It’s how we both want it. And no matter what people tell us, that’s how it’s going to stay.