Sometimes life with an autistic person is really really hard. Obviously.  Being married to one isn’t any easier. There are days like yesterday when I come home to roses and homemade chicken parmesan for dinner. Then there are days I worry every second hpw Justin is feeling. Is he stressing? Is he angry?  Is he going to have a melt down today? 

Our annual 4th of July tradition usually involves Justin being irritated.  I don’t know why  he does, but every year it goes between being excited and then saying he doesn’t want to go. We end up going, but he never is really excited.

This year isn’t any exception.  He’s struggling with asthma and can’t use his THC vape pen, which is what helps him relax. He isn’t speaking and it makes it really hard. He always tells me to not worry about him (as he struggles to breathe) and just enjoy the day. How am I supposed to do that? 

Lately it seems like we have more bad days than good. Especially because of his asthma. He gets really angry and frustrated (rightfully so) when he can’t breathe. I can’t do anything about it either.  No matter what I do or how hard I try I can’t fix everything.

And I can’t help but feel alone. Is this normal for people living with a loved one with autism?

2 thoughts on “Feeling Alone

  1. God I wish I could help in some way. I can only offer a {{{HUG}}}. The only experience I have pertains to the asthma. Meditation and yoga. Anxiety is a given with asthma and unfortunately brings it on. It might be the help for both if you find a good yogi. Not sure

    Liked by 1 person

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