“Autistic people can’t have intimate relationships.”
“Autistic people can’t feel emotions or love.”
“Autistic people die virgins.” (Yes, that’s legitimately a real statement)
I’ve talked about sex on here before…it’s a topic people avoid, but I don’t. For some reason sex is given this “hush hush” attitude, when we should be celebrating it. You’re trying to tell me that the closest you can get to someone is something we should almost be ashamed of? Well, sir, I disagree. This is something that we should celebrate.
When we first started dating, as most of you know, I didn’t realize Justin had Asperger’s. I didn’t think he liked the hugging, kissing, snuggly stuff, and I was totally fine with that. Just because someone doesn’t smoosh you with their lovey stuff doesn’t mean they don’t feel it. A lot of people thought that we weren’t really close or comfortable with each other, but that certainly wasn’t the case. I was comfortable with Justin after the first hour (and my dog also approved).
When it comes to intimacy, part of Asperger’s and being on the Autism spectrum does mean they have a hard time connecting and being able to display affection. It made so much sense when he was diagnosed, because he does have a hard time with affection. He doesn’t randomly hug or kiss me, or snuggle me, or that stuff (did I say I’m okay with that? I promise…I am). Since he started smoking pot, though, it’s really helped him with his confidence, and now daily he is more able to show his affection for me. He kisses me and hugs me more, and I can’t support it enough (obviously).
Sex is something different for people on the Autism spectrum. I see portrayals of Aspies and ASD people in relationships and sex is some foreign, weird thing for them. Oddly enough, Justin said he’s never had problems with that aspect of a relationship. I think because he can focus just on that, and it’s the easiest way for him to show his love. How much more intimate can you get, really?
I will spare you the graphic details of it all (but it’s GREAT), but I want to get the word out that just because you’ve got an Aspie or ASD partner doesn’t mean that intimacy needs to be some foreign thing. And even those without Autism. Everyone should celebrate the joy that comes with being in one world for a minute with someone else. Nothing else matters but that.
How awesome is that?