I love Justin. He is my everything. I asked him to write a blog about our relationship, and here is what he’s got to say.
Yikes. This topic is harder for me, because it’s more emotions, and as I am learning, I don’t know much about most emotions. I look at my relationship with Tara, and I feel like it’s something completely different from every other relationship I’ve ever had. I can’t explain it, really–I guess it’s the knowledge she was the one to marry maybe? Insert barfing noise here.
I guess I am not normal in the terms of how I view my relationship. With Tara I don’t feel like we have a relationship—it’s deeper than that for me. She is my other half and I mean that in the way it sounds. There are days where I have to go to the doctor’s or counselor’s, and I hate it because I don’t want to speak and I don’t want to deal with society. With Tara, I am not scared at all. If I go somewhere and I am feeling a little overwhelmed, I don’t have to say anything to her at all. She can tell by my posture and my ticks that I’m overwhelmed.
A lot of people wonder why we work together so well. We have only been in two fights ever. My past girlfriends–no offense to them this is just how they work–wouldn’t say how they felt or what they wanted, and that’s hard for me, so we fought constantly. I don’t mean to be cold, but if you don’t tell me or show me you’re upset, I can’t tell. With Tara, she’ll just tell me when she wants a hug or to be comforted, and it doesn’t bother her. She doesn’t expect me to be a mind-reader. Physical touch and hugs can be uncomfortable for me (more on that later), but I’ve gotten a lot better with her.
I use this story as an example: I was at my now wife’s house when we were dating. It was close to my birthday, and she was framing my present. I went over to her house and apparently it was on the ironing board right when I walked in. Her heart sank and she thought for sure that I had seen it. Well I was so focused on my phone or the floor or whatever that I didn’t even notice. I had no idea and never even saw it.
I don’t think I could put my finger on just one thing in our relationship that makes it so successful; there are a lot of ways that we work. I want to expand my world, and she helps a lot with that. I used to be one of those people that stayed in my house all the time, I never went to parties or really did anything outside of family camping, but Tara makes me want to get out and explore the state. She helps me feel safe.
Another thing that’s hard for me is finding or picking something out. For example if we are going out to eat if Tara says where do you want to go my brain immediately things of every restaurant within 100 miles of us and that is insanely overwhelming, so it’s easier for me if she says what she wants or narrows down the choices. Sometimes if I can’t decide where to go or what to eat I just don’t go out or I end up eating the same stuff I’ve had for a week.
I just love her.