Traveling with the Aspie

We don’t travel much.  Actually, neither me or Justin have ever been on a plane (or a train).  We do love to explore, though, and we often go for drives just to get out of the house.  We start getting crabby with each other if we don’t.

Since we are childfree (by choice!), we can go anywhere at any time and explore the amazing state of Washington without any problems.  We love to just get in the car and go.  But traveling with Justin has its issues.

Justin has a routine before we go anywhere (even the store).  He probably doesn’t realize he does, but I certainly do.  They say the women usually take longest to get ready, but I beg to differ!  He has to make sure he has the right shirt and pants and belt on, make sure he has the right hoodie, get his shoes, put on cologne, then smoke.  I can’t stand and wait for him, or he feels like he’s rushed and it annoys him (sometimes I am rushed, which I’m working on).  Once he’s finally ready, then I usually get ready, because chances are, he’s forgotten something in his routine, and he has to do it or he gets crabby.

We all know by now autistic people have routines and they have to abide by them or they tend to get irritated and that’s when meltdowns can happen.  But I wonder if this is something that all adults with autism struggle with?  Just leaving the house–does that require certain steps or they just can’t handle it?

Once we’re finally in the car, it’s usually me driving (hello, no DUIs here).  I get comments from him–a lot.  He probably doesn’t realize it, but he will make a lot of comments on the way I’m driving or ask why I don’t take certain roads or why I’m hitting the freeway instead of going through town.  Sometimes it really irritates me–but I remember that this his brain is probably just a little weirded out because it’s part of his routine to go a certain way or drive a certain way.  It’s his Aspie routine, and that’s how he likes it!  It doesn’t piss me off or drive like an ass just because he commented, but I’ve noticed it’s usually every time we drive he will comment on something that’s unusual or unexpected of him.

travel

I know Justin stresses a lot about driving, and he doesn’t drive by himself much.  He’s constantly stressing that his car will break down (even mine, which is completely under warranty and only 4 years old) and it’s the unexpected-ness of it that really freaks him out.  We’re hoping we can find him a specialist to help with this stress and worry he tends to have.

At any rate, I’m curious what it’s like for other Aspies out there to travel.  What is your routine of leaving like???

–TARA–

Aspies + Weed = True Love?

I wrote a blog post about weed before, and how much it’s helped Justin’s life.  We were both anti-pot when we started dating, but since it became legalized here in Washington, we both tried it, and I cannot begin to express how much it’s helped both of us (I can finally sleep).  I asked Justin to write what it’s like from his perspective.

pot

Weed, marijuana, pot, green, dope, Maryjane, whatever you call, it I couldn’t imagine my life without it now. All my life I was straight edge.  I’ve never even been drunk to this day and I just turned 35. I had only tried weed twice before I really started smoking it regularly 2 years ago. I have recently been diagnosed with autism which doesn’t bother me; I am still me, but I stress 24/7.  I worry about shit I shouldn’t, but with weed, I take one hit, and boom–that worry goes away. Not only that but I am more open and can talk to people I may not know as well.

Weed has saved me, honestly.  I’ve lived in Washington state for my whole life.  It’s beautiful here.  Forests, waterfalls, national parks, etc, and so much to explore.  When I was younger, I never explored.  I stayed inside and just played video games.  Since I started smoking pot, I wanted to LIVE.  I wanted to get out and start seeing this state, and explore, and we want to travel.  It made me see that you should stop caring about cell phones, TVs, internet, and realize it’s bullshit that’ll just hold you back.

Before I started weed I had a hard time telling my wife she was gorgeous or that I loved her just because stress or just forgetfulness. With weed, I tell her all the time.  I tell her that she’s hot right to her face, which is hard for me and was hard for me.  Weed takes away my “What ifs.”   Since I’ve been smoking weed, it has improved my mood and helps control my melt downs a little.

Weed also helps me with my eating—which can be helpful for parents with autistic children or teenagers.  I used to be a really picky eater.  Since I started smoking, I realized there are so many different types of food out there and I love to try new recipes—something I NEVER did when I was younger.  I also discovered I love to cook. I also can realize talents I have like mechanical work that I never felt like I had confidence for.

It also helps me focus on tasks.  Before I started smoking I would want to cross stitch, play games, watch a movie, and about 10 minutes into it, I’d start getting distracted and start thinking about 10,000 other things and never finish what I started.  With weed, it keeps me focused on just one task, and helps me finish.

It really bothers me when people who smoke weed are labeled as lazy.  What about people like me, with a brain issue that I can’t control?  With weed, I’m the opposite of lazy.  I can finally focus on things and relax and be myself.  I can also tell you this is not a “gateway” drug.  Tara & I have both been using pot for our issues, and neither of us have had a desire to start shooting up heroin or snorting coke.  She gets high and goes to sleep (wow, dangerous), and I get high and start being creative.  Yeah…really a scary drug, for sure.

I’m not saying everyone should start smoking pot, but from this Aspie’s point of view, pot honestly saved my life, and probably my relationship.  If you or a loved one is struggling, try it.  It might save their life, too.